I just mailed 37 pounds of books to myself for the low, low price of $14.
Woot woot.
It was kind of funny - I put my name and my parents' address as the mailing address, but when I got to the post office, they said that it had to have a return address. So I wrote my name and my current address as the return address.
I literally mailed the books to myself.
I've got new luggage.
I'm very excited.
It's actually a little bit ridiculous how excited I am.
Over the past couple of months I have made several online purchases, including (but not limited to) a new digital camera, a memory card for said digital camera, books, and clothing. I always track my packages online and eagerly await their arrival.
But my new 3-piece luggage set was scheduled to arrive yesterday. Typically, this would cause me to compulsively refresh my browser to look for status updates any time I walk by my laptop. Yesterday, however, I was also checking the garage every fifteen minutes or so to see if the goods had been dropped off. Naturally, and in accordance with the Principle of the Watched Kettle,* there was an "exception" that occurred with my shipment. Shortly after 7:00 last night, I refreshed my browser to find out what had gone wrong (I checked delivery hours earlier in the day and discovered that they ended at 7:00). When I saw that my shipment status had changed from "Scheduled for 10/5" to "Exception," I screamed, "I MAKE NO EXCEPTIONS!!!"
This, however, had no apparent effect.
The only details I had were that due to circumstances beyond the control of UPS, my shipment had been delayed and rescheduled. As of 1:30 today, I still had no news as to what the problem was or if my big box of happiness would even arrive today.
So I broke down and called UPS.
Evidently, the UPS truck bearing my precious cargo got stuck in the middle of an icy road and had to be towed.** But it would be delivered today.
And delivered it was.
YAY.
Did I mention that my luggage is very cool? It's a shimmery metallic brown and the material is ballistic nylon. So if, during the course of my travels, I find myself in the middle of a gunfight, all I have to do is duck behind my suitcase.
But that's not all - the ballistic nylon is coated with Teflon. So in the absence of a gunfight, I can make scrambled eggs.
*As it turns out, just as the watched kettle never boils, the watched driveway never produces a UPS truck.
**It's still not clear how the truck got stuck in the middle of an icy road. The side of an icy road? Sure. A ditch? I buy that. The middle? Ummm..no. But whatev.
I can't believe how close I am to leaving. I'm so excited for the future, but I'm also starting to pay more attention to all of things I'll miss. And by "things," I mostly mean "people." I have just one Sunday left at Liquid. I'm going to miss my church and my church family the most.
I'm not a big fan of Jersey. It won't be hard to say goodbye to the bad drivers, traffic, bad drivers, ridiculous highways which redefine the purpose of a U-turn, and bad drivers.* In case my opinion of New Jersey drivers isn't clear, check out this blog.
But I have some great friends out here and I will miss them a lot.
I know I'm going to miss the family that I work for, too. But it's still work. So for now, I'm just excited to be done with it.
And then sometimes I feel guilty for being ecstatic that I only have 9 days of work left.
Nikki made this for me at school today in "Writer's Workshop."
When she first found out that I was leaving, she seemed to handle it really well.
I was quite surprised, and thought that maybe she wasn't as attached to me as I thought she was. It was a relief, though, to think that she wouldn't really be that upset to see me go and she was adapting to the fact that she would have a new nanny.
I think it had more to do with her grasp of time and how soon I would be leaving.
I read this today and felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I'm a big jerk.
*I always thought that U-turns were maneuvers utilized by drivers who have discovered that they are going the wrong way. Not so in New Jersey - on some highways, one can only get to most businesses if they are heading in the right direction - thus necessitating U-turns.
I got my score breakdown for the Foreign Service Officer Test. The passing score was 154. And my score was....
151.6
From what I can tell, if I had gotten one more right answer, I would have passed.
But that's just for the multiple choice. As I mentioned before, I froze on the essay portion, so I'm pretty sure I would have failed anyway.
While it's painful to have missed it by such a small amount, it's also encouraging. As I mentioned before, only about 15% of test-takers pass.
I've got 10 more months to study before I can test again and I think my own personal odds will be pretty good.
Also, please forgive the delayed continuation of the Blog-o-Rama. I promise to finish it!
Lately, I have been blogging regularly. However, I have still managed to accumulate a backload of blogs-I-want-to-post.* I'm going to attempt to post these blogs and simultaneously empty my backlog in one sitting,** wish me luck.***
First of all, I HAVE to post about The Office Convention.****
It was very cool.
I was expecting it to be a geek convention, full of nerds. While it was, by definition, a geek convention. There were a lot of cool people there. Namely, THE CAST. I HIGH-FIVED AT LEAST HALF A DOZEN OF THEM.
The whole town of Scranton, PA got in on the action. In fact, a funeral home even participated!
As has been my tradition over the last several months, I slept in late that Saturday(October 27). Unfortunately, this included hitting the snooze bar and sleeping a couple hours past my alarm. Which, consequently, resulted in me arriving late to the Cast Q&A.
Luckily, I didn't really miss any of the Q&A. I just didn't have a very good vantage point. It was cool to see the actors as themselves, rather than their characters. Andy isn't an idiot, Angela isn't mean, Kevin sounds nothing like his character, and Stanley smiles. Some of my favorite parts of the Q&A were when Andy (Ed Helms) had to sing his response. There were several of these. Some of them practically required an answer in the form of a song, for example, one question was, "Can you finish this sentence, 'Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that...?" To which, Andy/Ed's resposne was, of course, "football cream!"****** He was a good sport, and over the course of the Q&A sang, "Take a Chance on Me," and "Rainbow Connection." Very entertaining.
After the Q&A, there was a Look-Alike Contest. There were some great costumes. This vending machine, complete with "Dwight K. Schrute" nameplate, was clever and original.
Even from the back, you can tell that this couple is a good Jim & Pam. If I recall correctly, they both won.
Jim:
Dwight: The guy at the mike did a pretty good Dwight impersonation. Can you tell from the photo?
Angela: Look closely, there's a dead ringer.
Cast members/contest judges:
Meredith:
Mose. Again - look for the candidate with the edge:
The Look-Alike contest was followed by a Scrantones concert. The Scrantones is the band that plays the show's theme song. But this concert also featured cast members! Yay!
Meredith started out the post-contest-concert by ROCKING THE HOUSE:
Then Meredith and Creed rocked together:
And Creed waled on the guitar:
Some chick sang a song called, "My heart belongs to Stanley":
Ed Helms sang a few different songs, including "Werewolves of Scranton."
Melora Hardin (aka Jan) can actually sing quite well and has an album out.
Darrell rocked out with Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy"
Kevin sang Roxanne.
Oscar gave the people some love. Incidentally, note how close these people are to the stage. I was there. I was that close to the stage. You know all these pictures that I've posted? My zoom is not that great - that's just how close I was. As I mentioned earlier, I high-fived quite a few of the cast members. This is because I was right next to the stage. A minute later, Oscar moves to his left and that is me high-fiving him. Oh yeah.
Then the whole gang came out on the stage to close the show with the theme song.
It was a little bit surreal being in such close proximity to actors that I watch on TV every week. It's still a little bit weird to see them on TV, now that I've seen them in person. Am I starstruck? I don't know. I realize they're ordinary people. But this was the first time that I've actually seen stars up close in person.
It was cool, too, to see how amazed they seem to be at the whole "The Office" phenomenon. They all seemed very grateful to the fans and excited to be a part of it.
So, I guess I'm going to have to pause the Blog-o-Rama. It's now 1:00 am. Oops. To be continued...
*These are blogs that I plan to post, take pictures for, promise to post, mentally compose, and/or dream up during a moment of inspiration.
**By "one sitting," I mean "one period of time in which I surf the web, watch TV, buy stuff online, balance my finances, and sit."
***I don't believe in luck. I believe in providence and the will of God. I also believe that there is such a thing as coincidence. But it's more convenient to say,"wish me luck." Is it awful to say that I believe in convenience?
****If nothing else, for the sake of Victoria, my (according to comments) only faithful reader.***** I love you, Victoria.
*****Yes, other readers, I know you are out there. I'm attempting to goad you into leaving comments. Soon I will be in Korea and will rely on comments for sustenance (in addition to food, naturally). Victoria, I still love you.
******If you don't get this joke, go watch The Office. There really isn't much point in continuing to read this blog.
I love change. I love adventure and discovery and learning new things. I love moving.
Almost two months ago, I made the decision to move to South Korea for a year to teach English. But while I've spent some time researching, planning, and making arrangements, most of my energy has been devoted to gritting my teeth and making it through another day at work.
I've finally made it out of that stage of my journey and I am SO EXCITED!!! The coming months are going to be great! I feel like I've been waiting in a really long line at a rollercoaster, but now I'm getting on.
Based on my own past experiences, tentative plans, and a little help from some expat resources - this is my outline of the stages of my journey:
Stage 1:The Gritting-My-Teeth-and-Counting-the-Days Stage
This was the first stage. It's pretty much self-explantory. And over. Yay! I can tell that it's over because I'm pretty much in a constant state of excitement for my upcoming adventure. Even on bad days, I don't have to give myself a pep talk and remind myself that I'm leaving soon. My departure day is so close, that I just shrug my shoulders and go back to reading about Korea.
Stage 2:The Packing-Up-and-Making-Preparations Stage
November 17-December 14: My last 4 weeks.
Practically speaking, my main focus for the next month will be making sure I have everything packed up and all necessary plans in place. I have already gone through a lot of my stuff, throwing things away and organizing. Over the next two weeks, I hope to have most of it packed up.* I have an interview this week with the recruiters who will help me find a job in Korea. I'm reading books about Korea and books about moving overseas. I'm going to start studying Korean.
Mentally and emotionally speaking: I'M EXCITED! This month will go so fast, I just have to hang on! It will definitely be stressful at times - but still EXCITING!
Stage 3:The Visiting-DC Stage
December 14-18
FUN TIMES!
Stage 4:The Home-for-the-Holidays Stage
December 18-January 1
This stage will mainly consist of sleeping, hanging out with the fam, hanging out with friends, playing canasta, watching movies, cooking, baking, and all things fun.
Stage 5:The Back-in-NJ Stage
January 1-14
This stage may not occur, in which case, Stage 6 will just start 2 weeks earlier. Hopefully I will know for soon in the next week.
I may be coming back to work for a week and a half to train the next nanny. If I do, I will be staying with a friend for a few days to hang out after I'm done.
Stage 6:The Yes-I'm-Really-Moving-to-South-Korea Stage
January 14-February 15ish
This is me packing up, finalizing plans, getting plane tickets, and going!
Stage 7:The Hello-Korea! Stage
February 15ish-April 15ish
My first weeks in Korea will be full of excitement and wonder as I discover many new things and adjust to everyday life. I'll find certain foods and customs about Korea that I really like. I'll make some friends and find a church.
Stage 8:Culture Shock
I'm guessing this will hit around mid-April. Not sure how long it will last. I'll probably be tempted to hole myself up in my apartment and do nothing. I'll be homesick. I may ask myself and others why in the world I ever decided to come to Korea. I may question my sanity and accuse myself of being masochistic. It won't be fun, but I'll live through it.
Stage 9:The I-Live-in-Korea Stage
After successfully dealing with culture shock, I'll get back to life. I'll do more exploring, learn more Korean, make more friends, and more of a good time will be had. Not sure what will happen after this.
So you can see that the next 5 months or so are going to be chock full of adventure and excitement. Yay! I'm in a state of euphoria right now :) And I'm going to see Dane Cook at Madison Square Garden tonight!**
*To be completely honest, this goes against my nature and really isn't very likely. But I'm optimistic anyway!
**Hmmm..I forgot to insert the Madison Square Garden Stage...
I'm not really surprised. A little sad and disappointed, but not surprised. I knew that my essay was incredibly short. I spent so much time studying for the rest of the test and totally neglected the essay portion. I planned to write some practice essays, but ultimately decided that it wasn't important because I can write well. But I don't write quickly and the essay was timed.
At this point, I don't actually know if that is where I failed. I've requested a breakdown of my scores and I will let you know when I know more.
It's really not that big of a deal that I failed. I mean, it is, but it isn't.
On the one hand, I spent the better part of a year studying for this test and I really, really, REALLY, want this job.
On the other hand, I am fully aware of my odds - which are not good.
There are a lot of positive things about me failing this test. The next few months will probably be a bit stressful (but exciting!), and if I had passed this test, it would actually just add to the stress.
I'm moving on December 14th. I'm packing up all of my stuff and going to DC with my family (minus my dad) for a few days, then the fam is going to help me get all my junk back home. There is a possibility that I will not be coming back here for a week and a half in January, as we originally planned. If that's the case, then I will be training the new nanny during my last week here. That will mean that I have to have my stuff all packed up a week earlier, and I will be living out of my suitcase for the last week here. If I had passed this test, I would be taking the Oral Assessment on December 17th in DC, which would mean that I would be trying to prepare for that at the same time!
Also, I have to make a one year commitment to teach English in Korea. I've been a little concerned about what would happen if I managed to pass everything the first time around. I didn't feel good about committing to a year if I wasn't confident that I would stay the whole year. But I can now confidently make that commitment.
Lots of people take these tests for years before being hired. I feel like just taking the test has been a learning experience and I'll be better prepared to take it next year.
So, as much as I wanted to pass this test, in some ways, it is a relief that I failed. I'll try again next September...in Seoul, South Korea!
"The United States is facing unprecedented challenges requiring the expert knowledge and vision of individuals like you. This is why there has never been a better time to transform your professional skills, education, cultural background and unique perspectives into a high-profile career working overseas.
You have the ability to affect global change and impact people's lives. You've taken the first step in becoming an agent of change and we'd like to encourage you to register for, and schedule your seat, for the upcoming December 1-8 testing window.
Become a U.S. Diplomat.
If not now, when?"
This is the email that appeared in my inbox 30 minutes ago. Despite the fact that I know I will be emailed a link to see my test results and the Oral Assessment dates are December 17-20, for a full two seconds, I thought that this was my notification that I had passed the test.
It was not.
Rather, it is an invitation to take the FSOT. Although I took it in September, I somehow managed to get myself on a list to receive this notification.
This is torture.
Why don't they just give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice in it?
As of today, I am officially one month away from my next move. The plan is to move home at Christmas, then come back for a week and a half after Christmas to train the next nanny. That, however, may change, and I may end up training her before I leave for Christmas, which would result in me going to Korea in January rather than February - but that all remains to be seen.*
At any rate, my time in New Jersey is quickly coming to a close.
As I wait (somewhat impatiently) for my FSOT results, my thoughts remain in South Korea. For, as I've mentioned before, becoming a US diplomat is my dream, teaching English in Korea is my plan.
For me, one of the hardest things about moving to Spain was moving back. Culture shock wasn't too much of a problem. It was expected and planned for. Reverse culture shock, however, came from out of the blue and blindsided me.
I've been doing a lot of research (read:surfing the web) for my adventure in Korea, and as I was reading some forums (fori?) this evening, I came across a thread on reverse culture shock. As I read posts, a wave of memories washed over me. Memories of getting the urge to request movie tickets or order at a restaurant in Spanish, for example. More notably, Koreans and Spaniards appear to have something in common which is difficult for Americans to adapt to.**
Two words.
Personal space.
It's okay to run right into someone and not even acknowledge it.
I recall performing a sociological experiment in my neighborhood in Madrid. Bearing in mind that it has been more than two years since I moved back to the States from Madrid and my skills of estimation are rudimentary at best, I would estimate that Calle de las Delicias was at least 20 feet wide.**
A couple of times, I played chicken walking down that street.
I got tired of being the one to always move out of the way and wondered, if I didn't move, would the other person move to avoid running into me?
Yes, Madrid is crowded. But I lived out in the sticks (no, I'm lying. But it makes a clever pun off my metro stop).
However, even in a crowded city, there are bound to be times when you find yourself in an uncrowded situation. At certain times of the day, my neighborhood was definitively uncrowded. These were the times when I spontaneously chose to perform my sociological experiment (read:play chicken). When walking down a 20-ft-wide sidewalk, if there is only one person coming from the opposite direction, but they are directly in your path - will they move to avoid you? The answer is "No."
I'm not kidding. I ran into people this way. But only a couple of times, because I get annoyed running into people so I resumed dodging Spaniards.
This is not to say that I did not learn how to adapt to the culture. I felt a bit guilty one day when I pushed my way onto the bus (in typical Spanish fashion) and encouraged Kelly to push in with me, only for her backpack to get caught in the doors. I didn't feel guilty for too long, though, because the picture was pretty funny and that made up for it.
But back to my point (I really did have one): As I sit here and think about what was, for me, the most difficult aspect of my overseas experience, the only thing I feel is a desire to go abroad again, to have a new experience.
And I wonder, will I ever be content to remain in one place? Is Wanderlust terminal?
*That's basically all I know at this point; hopefully I will know more soon. I plan to go to Korea roughly one month after moving back to Washington.
**Arggh.. Grammar rules have changed and I know that it is now acceptable for me to leave a prepostion dangling, but it still hurts a little.
**That is, the sidewalk on the northern side of the street (if my sense of direction serves me correctly).
I got home about an hour ago. When I walked in my room, I saw that I had a couple of new emails.
One of them was from the US Department of State.
Eyes fixed on my computer screen, I dropped my things on the floor and quickly sat down at my desk. My heart was in my mouth as I continued to read the screen.
Subject: Foreign Service Officer Test...
I gulped, and clicked on the email.
It was a list of overseas locations that will be administering the test in December.
False alarm.
Wait longer.
Someone from the FSOT Program Office said that the test results should be out early next week.
I sure hope so.
Recent studies have revealed that individual beverage choices may actually be indicators of character.
Hey! I just realized that I never wrote this chapter. Oops!
In Chapter 1, I mentioned that if I pass the Foreign Service Officer Test, I can take the Foreign Service Oral Assessment in DC in December. However, I knew that I might not get my test results until early December and it would be tricky to plan a trip to DC during the holiday season with 3 weeks notice.
I discussed possible scenarios with my mom and she suggested that the two of us plan on spending a few days in DC in December. That way, if I pass the test, I can take the Oral Assessment while I'm in DC. But if not - neither one of us has ever been to DC, why not see the sights?
Well, one thing led to another, and Jessica, Jonathan, and Julianna decided to join us!
We tried to get my dad to join us, but he had a valid argument. If we were all in DC and noone was back at the ranch, then everything would fall apart when we segued with, "Meanwhile, back at the ranch."*
At any rate, this is where my rockstardom comes in -
I spent about two hours working out the logistics of the trip and booking all of our tickets (getting excellent ticket fares for all of us, I might add).
This is what we (mostly I)** worked out:
Friday afternoon, December 14th, I'm renting a car and picking up my mom and Jonathan at EWR (Newark International Airport), who will be flying in from Seattle.
Then we're driving five hours to DC (mini road trip - woot woot).
On our way to our hotel, we'll swing by DCA (Ronald Reagan Washington National) and pick up Jessica, who will be flying in from Tulsa.
The next morning, we'll pick up Julianna at BWI (Baltimore-Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport).
Then we'll all rock DC, like only the Willeys can.
On Tuesday, we'll all fly back to Seattle on the same flights (no I'm not getting carried away with pluralization - we have a layover).
I had five browsers open and I booked these flights as close to simultaneously as possible. I also selected seats for all of us, so that we're sitting together (and I get the window - shhhhhh...don't tell).
That's why I'm a rockstar.
I suppose I could have just said, "I'm a travel agent." But that's not as glamorous.
So now you know.
And knowing is half the battle.
Added bonus: By renting a car, then flying back to Seattle with four relatives, I have also effectively solved the "How-in-the-world-do-I-get-all-of-my-accumulated-belongings-home" dilemma: I simply throw all my junk in the car, then sneak it into suitcases when people aren't looking. Jackpot.
*I hope he wins the lottery while we're gone.
**What?! I'm the rockstar!
Ahhh!! I'm so excited to go to Korea!
Incidentally, no, I have not heard back from State regarding test results. But even if I pass the test, I'm really not banking on being hired as an FSO in the next year.
But, interestingly enough, I happen to live nextdoor to a couple who spent four years in Korea. They have a little girl that is a year younger than the little girl that I take care of, so we see each other at the bus stop almost every day. I've gotten to know the mom a little bit.
When I told her I was going to Korea, she told me that she had lived there for four years and she had plenty of books that I could borrow. She gave them to me at the bus stop last week.
Cool, right?
Between this Bag 'O Books and the Amazon shipment* I got this week, it's Book-a-Palooza at Chez Marianna. Maybe I'm getting old, but spending my Saturday reading books was fun (I also had a date - does that help my case?). I was so excited about all of the books, that I piled them up on my bed and took turns reading a couple chapters out of each of them.
In other news, remember the opossum that graced our garage last winter? He has been replaced.
Now, I don't know all of the specifics. It could be that he found greener pastures (darker garages?), or maybe there were roommate conflicts (roommates can be catty...) All I know is that I haven't seen the opossum since last winter, but there have recently been multiple sightings of a raccoon.
That's right, a raccoon.
I'm going to be honest, here, I don't feel that he's going to be a good roommate. He's clearly just after the food.
But whatever. It's not my decision.
At any rate, I've decided to call him Bandit - between those black eye masks he's always wearing and the fact that he's always sneaking food, I thought it was appropriate.
Staring contest, you and me, right now...
*"Realities of Foreign Service Life," Volumes 1 & 2; "Bush Hat, Black Tie"; "The Expert Expat"
Well, Friday is officially over. I have officially not heard from the State Department. Therefore, I am officially still waiting to find out whether or not I passed the Foreign Service Officer Test.
And now, I am officially going to bed.
A RELIABLE SOURCE TOLD ME THAT THE TEST RESULTS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OUT THIS WEEK. AS IN TOMORROW! I CAN'T STOP SHOUTING! AHHHHHHH!!!
There are a ton of pictures I need to post and things I need to blog about, but right now I'm freaking out because I just heard that the FSOT results will be emailed out within two weeks! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! And a couple people have said that their references have gotten calls about them. It's so close! I'm pretty sure I failed, but I really have no way of knowing. So right now I'm just trying to hang on to the tiny bit of hope I have left and remember to breathe.
Scranton, PA is a mere 90 miles from where I live. How can I not go?
Sunday, November 18th, 10:30 pm.
Madison Square Garden, New York City.
Dane Cook.
Rough Around the Edges tour.
Oh yeah.
To anyone who has ever wondered what it would look like if you combined Dane Cook with Halo 2 - this is for you:
*Warning* - Video contains profanity.
One more Family Guy clip - this reminded me of you, Jess!
K, I really need to finish the episode and go to bed.
I'm watching this week's episode of Family Guy online.
For the first time.
And I paused it just so I could post this clip.
There's a classic Stewie scene in the episode and I was sure that I could find it on YouTube.
I was right.
So I paused the episode, not because I was distracted or found something better to do, but because I instantly loved the scene and wanted to share it.
It is Stewie at his best: sarcastic, patronizing, and sardonic.
This is the reason why Stewie is the best Family Guy character.
Enjoy. (Btw, the other character is supposed to be Colin Farrell)
Now I've got to get back to the episode.
Incidentally, this is the reason why I only sleep about 5 hours/night during the week. By "this," I don't necessarily mean Family Guy. Any one of a number of distractions can hold my attention before 1 am. After 1 am, I start feeling guilty for not being in bed and it has to be fairly captivating to hold my attention. Not extremely captivating, just fairly. Or on live TV (rather than DVD or internet), and consequently, not necessarily accessible when I want it to be.
My alarm goes off at 6:00.
Therefore, as it is now 12:45, I shall bid you adieu and get back to the episode.
In my last post, I mentioned that when I quit my job, I gave 11-1/2 weeks notice. Well, when I did so, it occurred to me that it was a bit early to start a countdown and I should wait a while. That was a Wednesday. By Friday, I knew that I had exactly 11 weeks left.
My time out here has gone by quickly from day one; this is due in part to the fact that I work a lot of hours. Over the last few months, work has grown busier and more complicated, making the time go by even faster. But there was a part of me that was afraid that now that I had given notice, my last weeks would drag by. Factor this in with my excitement for what's ahead, and a countdown was inevitable.
At some point last week (on a particularly bad day), I created a countdown calendar on my lappy, replete with fractions and all. Which is why, I can now say that I am 1/4 of the way there.
K, here's my exciting news:
I quit my job.
However, in my line of work, "giving notice" does not mean two weeks. More like eight. But because my boss was worried that she couldn't get someone to start right before the holidays and I'm such a nice person (no comments from the peanut gallery, please), I gave 11-1/2 weeks notice.
I can sense you doing rapid mathematical calculations in your head and realizing that this means it took me 2-1/2 weeks to share my news with you, my faithful readers.
But don't look at it that way - I'm letting you know nine weeks in advance! Wow! Don't you feel privileged?!...
Technically, though, I have more than 9 weeks left. In 9 weeks, I start my Christmas vacation. I'll have 2-1/2 weeks off, then I come back for 1-1/2 weeks to train the next person. But I'm calling it 9 weeks for a few reasons:
1. Nine weeks is easier to digest than thirteen weeks*, or in a word - sanity.
2. I'll only be working eight days in January. Following a 2-1/2 week vacation and preceding...the end of my job...it will go quickly and should be easy.
3. I'm moving home at Christmas; so I'll be packing a bag to come back out here in January. This lends to the notion that I'm really quitting in December. Rather than taking a trip home for Christmas before coming back to work, I'll be moving home for Christmas and taking a trip back out here for work. See the difference?
One of my weeks at Christmas is unpaid time off, but the rest is vacation. So I'll be paid for my last 3 weeks here, but only working half of it. Cool, right? I think so.
Then I'm back in the good old Northwest for a month. I'm not going to work, either. For a whole month. I'm pretty excited about it. But I hope I don't go crazy. I don't think I will. I should have plenty to keep me busy. Between catching up with friends and family, getting rid of as much of my stuff as I can part with (it's tough to be a nomad and a packrat at the same time - not practical), and preparing to move to South Korea, I shouldn't get bored.
That's right, I said I'm moving to South Korea. Seoul, to be specific. I'm hoping to go in mid-February, right after the Lunar New Year. This has led to all kinds of ideas for a new blog name. Here are my favorites:
"Life through my eyes: your window into Seoul"
"For those about to ROK,** we Seoul-ute you."
Too cheesy? Any other ideas?
I'm sure that some of you are wondering what happened to my dreams of becoming a US diplomat. Oh, they're still firmly in place. But they're also still dreams and I have to have a backup plan. To be honest, I'm not very optimistic about the exam I took last month. I'll find out how I did sometime over the next few weeks, but I'm not holding my breath (mostly because that would be stupid - holding one's breath for a few weeks could not end well).
However, if I do pass, I will be invited to take the oral assessment. I could take that in DC in December and I would find out at the end of the day how I did.
Were I to pass the written exam and pass the oral assessment with a high score, there would be a good chance of getting hired within the next few months. In this case, I would not go to Korea. In any other case, it is off to Korea for me!
If anybody*** wants to come with me, let me know soon and we can probably be roommates and get jobs at the same school! All that is required is that you have a passport from an English-speaking country, a Bachelor's Degree in any major, and the ability/willingness to commit to a year.
Stay tuned for Chapter 2, in which I reveal details of my secret life as a rockstar.
*If you recognize that I actually have 13 weeks left, that means I gave 15-1/2 weeks notice! Wow! I'm a really nice person!
**ROK = Republic of Korea aka South Korea. All the cool kids use this abbreviation. Admittedly, the phrase doesn't make sense if you understand what ROK means, but I still think it's mildly clever...
***By "anybody," I don't really mean anybody. For example, if you randomly stumbled onto this blog and we've never met, this doesn't include you. Sorry.
That's right. It says "preface." This is not a real post. I tricked you.
I really, really want to write a whole post right now. I'm happy and excited and I want to share my news with you. But I'm also exhausted and I really should get to bed. I've slept a total of about 9 hours in the last two nights and if I went to sleep right now, I would get about 6 hours of sleep tonight. But as it is, I will probably be up another hour. Were I to take the time to actually blog right now, it would be even later by the time I went to sleep. See the dilemma?
So for now, I'll just share one little factoid, to whet your appetite:
Apparently, NBC created this music video back in February. How is it possible that I've only just discovered it? Am I the only one?
If you recall, I was in an accident three months ago.
We're finally getting the Explorer fixed.
Ridiculous?
A bit.
But I still have two dislocated ribs that the chiropractor has not yet been able to set.
That's even more ridiculous. And more painful.
But I digress.
While the Explorer is in the shop, I'm driving a Durango. Personally, I am against gas-guzzling vehicles. The Durango is even worse than the Explorer. I think it gets about 11 miles/gallon. But the idea is that SUV's are safer. Naturally, the safety of the children is of the utmost importance.
So I drive an SUV.
Ironically, I noticed this warning label on the visor.
Mmm..that's comforting. I sure am glad I'm driving an SUV.
Wait. Why am I driving an SUV?
Avoid abrupt maneuvers and excessive speed? HA! If I were to describe New Jersey driving, I would probably say something like, "Well, it basically consists of abrupt maneuvers and excessive speed."*
See the dilemma? Or should I say, the irony?
*And tailgating at ludicrous speeds and abandoning any sense of reason upon getting behind the wheel... *deep breath* *talking to self* "Let it go, Marianna, it's not worth it." Ummm...kind of a hot-button topic.
So I just noticed that in my new profile picture, it's very apparent that I have one squinty eye when I smile.
But I be a pirate, so what are ye going to do about it?
Aaaarrrgggghhh.
I am a slacker.
K, not really. Actually, I've been studying very hard. And working hard. So, yeah.
I have definitely come to the conclusion that I work too hard. Maybe I should stop working altogether. I mean, technically, I work from 5:00 to 19:30 (that's 5:00 am to 7:30 pm for those of you not in the military) every day. Sure, I'm generally sleeping for the first 90 minutes of every shift (I admit - this part of the arrangement is pretty good), but still - it's a long day. After I get the kids off to school in the morning, I typically veg (aka check email and look for a job in which I don't have to work so much)* for about an hour, then go to the gym and work out, then come home, shower, and speed-work** Frequently, I work an hour or two past the time that I am technically off. What am I doing? That's a good question. I often wonder that myself. It's amazing the amount of time that errands and kids' activities (football, guitar, soccer, and swimming - to be specific) can consume. So, yeah. I'm going to go play the lottery and win it big. Then quit my job.
Yeah, no.
I can't.
Part of my problem is that I committed to stay with my job until the end of the school year. There is a clause in my contract that allows me to give eight weeks notice and quit early, but frankly, unless there is a serious problem (more serious than me just being ready to move on), I'm not comfortable quitting early. I made a commitment. That's a big deal to me. I need to have a pretty dang good reason to leave early.***
Also, I've been seriously studying for about 9 months in order to take the FSOT. "What's the FSOT?" you ask. Well, it stands for the Foreign Service Officer Test - the first step in the process to becoming a US diplomat - and it deserves its own separate post.
But I don't have the time right now.
So let me just say that I took the test last Saturday and I think I did okay. Maybe better than okay, maybe worse. It's hard to say. About 45% of me thinks I passed, and 55% of me thinks I failed.**** Now I get to wait 3 months to find out what State thinks.
The idea here is to become a US diplomat and work abroad (a different country every 2-3 years - yahoooooooo!) in a US Embassy or Consulate. But in the event that I fail the test, I must wait a year before I may attempt it again. Consequently, I have decided that in the event that I discover that I have, in fact, failed the test, I shall secure a postion teaching English in South Korea for a year (because trying to get a job teaching English in North Korea would just be silly...).
So, here I am.
If I pass this test, I take the Oral Assessment in December. If I pass that, the odds are fairly decent that I will be hired in the next several months. So at this point, it's not really a good idea for me to commit to a year at another job anyway. If I take a job teaching English in Korea (that's South Korea - not North...), it will require a one-year commitment.
Rumor has it that test results may be out in as little as 6 weeks. I'm crossing my fingers. And you can rest assured that, no matter how negligent I have been in matters related to my blog, if I find out that I have passed the FSOT, you (my family, friends, and society in general) will be the first to know. Ah, yes. I shall shout it from the rooftops (in other words - post it from my blogspot).
But I'm taking off tomorrow afternoon for Christin's wedding this weekend. So for now, I've got to pack. And finish up some work. It's almost more work to take a day off, than it is to work. Rather annoying, really. Just one more reason I should quit working. And take a cue from the cricket. I mean, he had so much fun playing music while the ant was working the whole time - and it all payed off in the end, right? So why not?
*This is only partly true. I'm thinking of spending a year teaching English in Korea, so I surf some Korean ESL job boards and blogs of ESL teachers in Korea - I'm not looking for another job in the US. Hey - I surf. That's cool. Never thought of myself as the surfer-type.
**Kind of like speed-walking, only completely different. Basically, I run around frantically, trying to get everything done. I think that sometimes I look like a chicken with its head cut off, and thus, scare the kids.
***For example, receiving an invitation to go to Washington(DC - not the state) and join the Foreign Service.
****Sure, these aren't great percentages - but statistically speaking, I only had a 15% chance of passing, anyway. So, if 45% of me thinks I passed, that's still an accomplishment. And I can always take the test again next year.
WOW. It has been nearly a month since I blogged last. And I was doing so well!
I've decided that I was on a spontaneous Sabbatical. Not only does that sound like I had a legitimate excuse instead of just being lazy, but it uses alliteration. So, you know, it's cool.
I promise to post again soon and let you know what I've been up to. But for now, watch this. It's funny. Even if it is British...
On Monday, I was in a car accident. It was not my fault. I was just driving up the GSP, minding my own business, thinking about the Starbucks that awaited me 2 miles up the road.
See? That's me, in the right lane. I look innocent, right?
As we passed the exit, the woman driving the car in the center lane must have realized that we were passing her exit. Rather than take the next exit and have to turn around, she decided to cut across the right lane and try to make the exit. Unfortunately for both of us, I was in the right lane.
At 65 miles/hr, pretty much all I could do was slam on the breaks and scream. So I did.
The front driver's side corner of my car connected with the back end of her car on the passenger's side. Her back windshield shattered, spraying glass all over the front of my car. She spun out and did a 360, coming to a stop in the grass between the exit and the highway. I pulled over onto the shoulder of the road and turned off my car.
It was scary.
Neither one of us were seriously injured, but we both got whiplash. I went to the chiropractor the next day and he said that my neck is pretty messed up and I have several ribs out of place.
I was planning to inject some humor in this blog - but it looks like all you get in that respect are my kindergarten-level drawing abilities. It's still a little too fresh in my mind.
There is a shopping center I frequent which is about 15 minutes from my house. Actually, I generally just go to the grocery store there. Occasionally I may stop in at the CVS or Staples, but I go to the grocery store at least twice a week.
I was there today.
As I pulled into a parking spot, I noticed something new.
I rarely go to Starbucks anymore, because the closest one is 30 minutes away. But this new one is very conveniently located.
"Oh frabjous day, calooh, calay!" I chortled in my joy.*
I wasn't thirsty, but I went in and bought an Iced Coffee, anyway.
I asked if it was Terrazza. They said it was.
I asked when the store opened. They said today.
No wonder I hadn't noticed it before.
*Not sure what Jabberwocky has to do with this post, but I was an odd kid and had a penchant for memorizing poems from the age of 8 or 9. They still sneak up on me from time to time. So, um... yeah. Beware the Jabberwock, my son.
Okay, so there were really only two firsts. But still - they were milestones!
On Sunday, I had brunch with some friends. It was my first time at IHOP. Momentous, no? I was advised to order the chocolate chip pancakes. So I did. They were tasty.
Did you know that at IHOP, the floors are slanted, so everyone tilts just a little?
Unfortunately, the other milestone wasn't quite so much fun. I got my first ticket. On the way to church. Boo hoo :( I got a ticket for running a red light. Why did I run the red light? I DON'T KNOW. Momentary lapse of judgment. Stop asking. 
Okay, the truth is, I lack patience.**
I was just cruising along, minding my own business, obeying all of the traffic laws.
Every traffic sign I saw, I said, "Ok, sign!"***
Then the light ahead of me turned green. There weren't too many cars between me and the light, so there wasn't really a question of whether or not I was going to make it through before it turned red.
Until the car just in front of me started slowing down.
A lot.
For no apparent reason.
As the light turned yellow, I realized that I just might not make it through. Then the car in front of me practically stopped, so I decided to drive around. That's when the light turned red. That's also when I noticed the cop car sitting at a red light on the other side of the intersection.
Sad story, right? Thus ends my ticket-free driving record - 11 years with a license and no tickets! Oh well, whaddaya gonna do?
*Ooops - just realized I forgot to post this! It's actually from 3 1/2 weeks ago!
**Not really, I actually possess vast quantities of patience. I'm just way too humble to tell you that myself.
***Yes, I did steal that line from Dane Cook. It's funny. You wanna fight about it?
Anyone who has spent much time with kids, knows that they are good for a laugh. That's the real reason that I like to keep them around.
In talking to Jill (a 7-yr-old) yesterday, I made a crack about New Jersey not really being any better than Old Jersey. Of course, she didn't get it. But because I spend so much time by myself or with little kids, half the time I make jokes purely for my own amusement (sad, but true), so that was okay. Somehow, my witty pun (or pathetic attempt at a joke, depending on one's perspective) turned into a discussion about where we (as in, "we Americans") first came from.
"Well, we came from England," I said.
Jill looked at me incredulously, "We did?"
"Yes," I responded. "Well, you didn't," I quickly added, "you came from Italy and Ireland."*
"I did?" Jill stared at me, wide-eyed.
"Well, not you, really. You've lived here your whole life," I corrected. "Your ancestors did."
Scowling, Jill replied, "No! My aunts, not my aunt-cestors!"
Laughing, I looked up and noticed that Jill was deep in thought. Turning to me, she repeated, "My aunts! What? Did you think they were like aunt-sisters?"
*The kids often talk about their two great-aunts - they're very close to them. While the kids are probably mostly Italian, I've been told on more than a few occasions about one of their great-aunts, who is half-Italian, half-Irish.
ARRRGGGHHHH!!! No, I'm not being a pirate. I'm trying to express the frustration I'm feeling, but wasn't sure how to put it in print.
I finally started working out consistently again. I've run a couple of miles several times a week for the last couple of weeks. When I get out of the habit of exercising, it's hard to get back in it. And it has been a while since I got out of it.
I've been trying to motivate myself to start working out again for a long time now, so it's been feeling great to be doing it again. Once I get started, it's not too hard to motivate myself. I don't run very fast or for very long, but my plan was to build up my endurance and speed for a couple of weeks, then join a gym and start doing other things, too. 
Last Tuesday, I started warming up to run, and my ankle started hurting. I was a little worried. But I took a couple of days off, then started running again and everything was fine.
But I think that yesterday, I pulled a muscle. The ironic thing is that I ran a couple of miles in the morning and I felt great. It was later, when I was walking to the bus stop to meet Jill that I felt a sudden pain in my calf. I was walking quickly and uphill, so I guess that's how I pulled it. But I wasn't really sure if I had pulled it at that point. It just hurt. Then is started hurting more. And more. You get the idea.
I still wasn't sure what was wrong with it this morning, so I thought that maybe it would be a good idea to run a little and see if it helped to exercise it. I was wrong. It was a bad idea. I'm pretty sure it's a pull. Now I'm frustrated because I think it takes about a week to heal. That's going to throw off my momentum! What am I supposed to do for exercise between now and then? Not to mention the fact that I have a tango class tonight! What if I can't get back into running after it heals? AAAAHHHH!!!
There are few things that I will refuse to eat. In fact, I can only recall two things of which I have turned down the opportunity to sample:
bull penis (Córdoba, Spain)
But there are a few things I would rather not eat. I don’t like sweet & sour sauce, pickles, relish, or olives. Never have.
Naturally, as the whole matter is an issue of pride, I do my best to try these things from time to time. However, the frequency with which I try these things is directly proportional to the frequency with which I find them on my plate. Makes sense, right? If they’re there, I figure I might as well give them a shot and see if anything has changed. Consequently, I have eaten a lot of olives without actually liking them. Growing up, I was the only one who didn’t like black olives. Every time we ordered pizza, there were olives. I picked them off. At Thanksgiving, I was the only kid not getting olives from the hors d’oeuvres table, then sticking them on the end of my fingers so I could have cool olive fingers.
Then I went to Spain. Spaniards love olives. I think it may be illegal for them to dislike olives. A Spaniard not liking olives would be tantamount to a Brit not liking tea (though I have actually met one such Brit - at least, she claimed she was English - she was probably lying).
In the US, I had somehow gathered the impression that a black olive was sort of a precursor to the green olive. In other words, if you like black olives, you should try green olives - you might like them, too. But if you don’t even like black olives, you won’t like green olives - there’s no point in even trying them.
But I tried them anyway.
Many times.
I always tried them if they were on my plate, and I always disliked them.
Until one day...
I was having lunch with M2 in Granada. We were getting the Menú del Día at a restaurant that was located right next to a big plaza. I can still see it in my mind’s eye. I ate a green olive. And I liked it. It was pretty amazing. I tried to communicate the magic of the moment to Matt, but I don’t think he quite understood. Anyway, I didn’t just start liking olives from then on. There may have been a few in the following years that I liked, but I didn’t just start eating any old olive. It wasn’t long after that apperception that I returned to the US. So my encounters with olives were drastically reduced in number and I all but forgot that magical moment in Granada. Until one day…
A couple of months ago, my boss brought home some jalapeño stuffed olives.
I tried one.
I liked it.
I ate more.
I started picking them up regularly at the grocery store and my boss and I have both been enjoying them.
Now I am in the habit of eating Melba Snacks with Laughing Cow spreadable cheese and sliced jalapeño stuffed olives. Yum.
A couple of weeks ago, the grocery store was out of the jalapeño stuffed olives. So that evening, I made my little snack with regular olives, and I still really liked it! That’s how I know I’ve truly turned a corner here. 
But I still don’t like black olives.
Don't worry - it's not what you're thinking.
I didn't bake a cake with goldfish in it.
For those of you who have witnessed me experimenting in the kitchen (adding Bailey's Irish Cream to mushroom fish, or White Cheddar Cheez-Itz to stir fry, for example*...), I'm sure you were a little nervous to read on after seeing the title. But actually, I just baked a regular cake and frosted it, then I let Jill** decorate it. Her school was having a bake sale/cake decorating contest and she decided to decorate her entry as a goldfish bowl. I am always impressed with her creativity! Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of the final product. But the picture below shows how much she did the first day before she started getting tired and frustrated, at which point I sent her to bed and told her she could finish it the next day.*** Not bad for a 6-yr-old, huh?
*True stories. If you don't believe me, ask Victoria, Julianna, Jessica, or my mom.
**If you recall, this is the pseudonym that I had given in an earlier post to the 6-yr-old girl (7 tomorrow!) that I take care of.
***Yes, she does frequently tell me that I'm mean. I don't care. It's either send her to bed or put up with whining. There isn't really a choice to be made here.
I really don't know how to intro this video clip. It's the first of 8 episodes telling the story of Darth Vader's brother, Chad.
It speaks for itself.
Rated PG.
My boss needed to switch cars for the day. I don't mind too much. 
Note the lack of a key - the car has a push-button ignition.
I may need to pull a Ferris Bueller so the mileage isn't too high...
It has been a loooooong week. I technically work just over 70 hours/week, but that's just technically speaking. My work day starts at 5:15 am and ends at 7:30 pm. However, I don't even get up until 6:30. Then the kids are off to school by 8:30 and don't get home until 3:15. While they're at school, I do laundry, grocery shopping and other errands. But I usually have some time to myself, too.
It still makes for long days, but the break that I have in the morning while they're at school is definitely good for my sanity. Even if I spend the whole morning running errands, the fact that I don't have a couple of kids in tow makes it feel like a break.
Naturally, whenever the kids' schedule changes, so does mine. I now understand why my mom would get frustrated when we had lots of time off from school (then again, halfway through she decided to homeschool us...). Fortunately, the kids have all-day summer camp during the summer. But I am not particularly looking forward to the last week of June, where they will be off for the entire week and it will be up to me to keep them occupied.
Anyway, the 6-yr-old had her tonsils out last Thursday. She has been doing very well, considering the circumstances. But not only have I had her all day every day this week, but her discomfort has meant that she's been whiny and clingy, as well. Yesterday, I felt like anytime I walked out of the room, she would either follow me or call me to come back because she suddenly "needed something." Add to this the fact that I worked until 10:00 last night instead of 7:30.
She has definitely been improving, though, and she has been anxious to get back to school. So, we were both excited that she was going to go for half a day today. I let her sleep until she woke up on her own, then took her to school at around 11. I kind of felt like someone just busted open the prison gates and I was breathing fresh air for the first time in a very long time. That sounds kind of mean - I really do like her, this week has just been a little much.
But now I've finally got a few hours during the day without the kids and I spent a portion of this coveted time blogging. That was silly. I've got a bunch of errands to run and 3 1/2 hours! Yikes! I'm looking forward to it, though. It's 80 degrees out and I'm going to go drive around with the windows rolled down.
Yes, the worst is definitely over. The kids have an early dismissal tomorrow, then I'm taking them to meet their dad and I'll be off work by about 1:00, making my 3-day weekend more like 3 1/2 days. *contented sigh* I think I've earned it.
I have long considered myself to be a strange dichotomy of a tomboy and a girly-girl.*
As long as I can remember, I have loved climbing trees. But at the same time, although I love my church here in NJ and the fact that casual dress on Sundays makes the average Joe feel more welcome, a part of me is frustrated at the missed opportunity to dress up.
I like construction work, but love to get my nails done.
I enjoy working hard, getting dirty, and working up a sweat - but I like to get dressed up and wear make-up and jewelry.
I think that hanging sheetrock is fun, but so is making cookies.
I have had a few jobs where the ratio of men to women was around 50:1 (mainly because of the physical labor aspect). In fact, in one such job, my friends called me "the Proverbial Man."** But in community college, I stuck out a bit because I tended to wear skirts and dress up more than the average girl.***
Thus, wouldn't it seem natural that I would enjoy gardening? It is frequently viewed as a feminine art (especially if you're talking about flower gardens), but it involves dirt and the outdoors. However, when it comes to plants, I have always admitted that I have a brown thumb. I either drown plants, or they die of thirst. I don't know what it is. When I moved out here, there was a potted plant in my room that was supposed to be very hardy and not easy to kill. It may have lasted a couple of months. And that's probably just because the woman who cleans every week watered it. I think it's funny that sometimes people say that being able to keep a plant alive is a good precursor to raising a child. A child, I can keep alive; a plant, not so much. I can probably attribute a lot of it to ignorance. How do you know how often to water a plant? How much water do you give it? I don't know the answers to these questions, and apparently, I don't do too well at guessing. A baby is easier to figure out - you just feed them until they stop crying.
At any rate, when my boss asked me a couple of months ago if I wanted to get flowers for the deck, I told her that I consider myself to have a brown thumb, but I could give it a shot. Unfortunately, she took me at my word.
So naturally, I took care of all of my other tasks first, and saved this one for last. Finally, when I didn't feel like I could wait any longer, I went to the local nursery (again with the plant-baby analogy - doesn't work for me, people).
I wandered among the plants for a good fifteen minutes before I called my mom for help.**** Half an hour later, I left with several plants, some potting soil, some peat moss (which I had always thought was green - evidence of my ignorance), a pair of gloves, and optimistic thoughts.
They look innocent, don't they?
So I gathered all of my materials and laid them out on a garbage sack on the deck.
But as I walked back out on the deck with the bag of potting soil, I noticed that the flowers were just sitting there - staring me down.
Fortunately, I knew what to do in this sort of a situation. I put on some beats. And some good beats, at that.
Then I planted the flowers. As of today, they have survived two weeks since the day I planted them. Time will tell if they can last the summer.
*For lack of a better term - does anyone know of a better term? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?
**The story goes: I was fast and good at my job, so they would have called me "the Man," but clearly, I was not a man. Hence, "the Proverbial Man." Admittedly, a portion of this can be attributed to a fiercely competitive streak, which I always thought I hid well - but apparently not...
***Granted, this was in a small town where everyone dressed the same and I had just moved back from the NYC metro area where I had felt liberated to express myself.
****I have come to the conclusion that one never gives up calling one's mom and asking for help.
