I failed the test

I'm not really surprised. A little sad and disappointed, but not surprised. I knew that my essay was incredibly short. I spent so much time studying for the rest of the test and totally neglected the essay portion. I planned to write some practice essays, but ultimately decided that it wasn't important because I can write well. But I don't write quickly and the essay was timed.

At this point, I don't actually know if that is where I failed. I've requested a breakdown of my scores and I will let you know when I know more.

It's really not that big of a deal that I failed. I mean, it is, but it isn't.

On the one hand, I spent the better part of a year studying for this test and I really, really, REALLY, want this job.

On the other hand, I am fully aware of my odds - which are not good.

There are a lot of positive things about me failing this test. The next few months will probably be a bit stressful (but exciting!), and if I had passed this test, it would actually just add to the stress.

I'm moving on December 14th. I'm packing up all of my stuff and going to DC with my family (minus my dad) for a few days, then the fam is going to help me get all my junk back home. There is a possibility that I will not be coming back here for a week and a half in January, as we originally planned. If that's the case, then I will be training the new nanny during my last week here. That will mean that I have to have my stuff all packed up a week earlier, and I will be living out of my suitcase for the last week here. If I had passed this test, I would be taking the Oral Assessment on December 17th in DC, which would mean that I would be trying to prepare for that at the same time!

Also, I have to make a one year commitment to teach English in Korea. I've been a little concerned about what would happen if I managed to pass everything the first time around. I didn't feel good about committing to a year if I wasn't confident that I would stay the whole year. But I can now confidently make that commitment.

Lots of people take these tests for years before being hired. I feel like just taking the test has been a learning experience and I'll be better prepared to take it next year.

So, as much as I wanted to pass this test, in some ways, it is a relief that I failed. I'll try again next September...in Seoul, South Korea!