This is him. Vinny. Just moments before he bit the big one. As you can see, he was One Huge Freaking Spider. I killed him. I don't deny it. Before today, I had nothing against Vinny. However, when he came in my house and got in my bed, he crossed a line.
This is the second spider I've found in my bed in the last couple of weeks. I frequently make my bed in the afternoons if I go home between jobs. As I cherish my sleep and don't get up any earlier than I have to, I rarely have enough time in the morning to make my bed. And looking back on my actions today, I wonder if perhaps I shouldn't have iced Vinny. I might have been better off just breaking a few of his legs and sending him back as a message to his family and friends. But it's too late for regrets now.
I found Vinny underneath my pillow. Creepy, right? In case you're wondering, I don't normally put chapstick underneath my pillow - I placed it there so you can see how big Vinny actually was.
So to all of those mourning Vinny - this is a warning. I know at this time you are grieving - and possibly contemplating revenge. But Vinny had it coming. Let me just warn you: If you value your little spidery life - stay away from my bed.
4 comments:
Mari - I think you need to come over and send a message to the spiders at my house ... I just found a monster spider bigger than yours
It must be spider season! We have found a few spiders here too. We don't kill them though. Well, not on purpose. We put them in a Critter Keeper and watch them.
Hey, it nice to see you blogging again. I've missed you!
LOL. I'll pay you a nickel for every spider you kill. this way it's like we're a crime family like the mafia. your new mafia name is bloody mari. im gonna spread rumors here so that all spiders fear your name.
MARIANNA update your blog. im not getting my daily fix and im starting to get the marianna shakes.
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