Baggage claim

I've got new luggage.

I'm very excited.

It's actually a little bit ridiculous how excited I am.

Over the past couple of months I have made several online purchases, including (but not limited to) a new digital camera, a memory card for said digital camera, books, and clothing. I always track my packages online and eagerly await their arrival.

But my new 3-piece luggage set was scheduled to arrive yesterday. Typically, this would cause me to compulsively refresh my browser to look for status updates any time I walk by my laptop. Yesterday, however, I was also checking the garage every fifteen minutes or so to see if the goods had been dropped off. Naturally, and in accordance with the Principle of the Watched Kettle,* there was an "exception" that occurred with my shipment. Shortly after 7:00 last night, I refreshed my browser to find out what had gone wrong (I checked delivery hours earlier in the day and discovered that they ended at 7:00). When I saw that my shipment status had changed from "Scheduled for 10/5" to "Exception," I screamed, "I MAKE NO EXCEPTIONS!!!"

This, however, had no apparent effect.

The only details I had were that due to circumstances beyond the control of UPS, my shipment had been delayed and rescheduled. As of 1:30 today, I still had no news as to what the problem was or if my big box of happiness would even arrive today.

So I broke down and called UPS.

Evidently, the UPS truck bearing my precious cargo got stuck in the middle of an icy road and had to be towed.** But it would be delivered today.

And delivered it was.

YAY.

Did I mention that my luggage is very cool? It's a shimmery metallic brown and the material is ballistic nylon. So if, during the course of my travels, I find myself in the middle of a gunfight, all I have to do is duck behind my suitcase.

But that's not all - the ballistic nylon is coated with Teflon. So in the absence of a gunfight, I can make scrambled eggs.


*As it turns out, just as the watched kettle never boils, the watched driveway never produces a UPS truck.
**It's still not clear how the truck got stuck in the middle of an icy road. The side of an icy road? Sure. A ditch? I buy that. The middle? Ummm..no. But whatev.