Squirrel tried to kill me

No, seriously. I was kinda freaked out.

It all happened just moments ago. I was sitting outside on a bench, minding my own business, eating my dinner (which consisted of a Veggie Delite sandwich from Subway and a Diet Coke - yum). Then I saw this squirrel, just a-scampering around on the path. "He's a cute little guy," I thought to myself. Then after the guy walked by, I noticed the squirrel again. "Aww, the squirrel is cute, too," thought I, "but in a different way."*

Let me just reiterate here that I am sitting on a bench, eating a sandwich. This doesn't involve a lot of movement.

The squirrel starts coming towards me. He's getting really close. I start noticing that he isn't really that cute after all. He looks like a big, ugly rat. A big, ugly, mean, crazy rat with razor-sharp teeth. As he grins at me menacingly, I notice that he is also wielding a switchblade, which he tosses back and forth from one tiny little hand to the other.

By the time he's about 2 feet away from the bench, I'm getting kinda edgy. You see, he's a quick little dude, as squirrels generally are. And I realize that he could close that distance in less time than it would take for me to shout, "Help! Crazy squirrel!" So I start moving around to try and scare him off. He backs away a little, but as I continue to eat my sandwich, he starts closing in on me again. So I quickly finish my dinner and beat feet out of there. This is not a joke. It really happened.* I could have died.**

Tune in next week for more animal adventures at the University of Washington. What creature will I run into next? Maybe a husky? Better not be a cougar...

*Parts of this story really happened. Other parts may or may not have happened.
**This is clearly not true.